FILMS & TV

FILMS & TV

	For over a period of more than ten years I was involved in the Australian Film & TV Industry. From "Angel Baby" to "Jack the Ripper" I spent many hours sitting around waiting for the Director to be satisfied or whatever it is that a Director needs to be satisfied and I must say that as far as I'm concerned it is the only job I am aware of that you will actually get paid for, for doing nothing. However, when you do get called to action you often work harder than you do on any other job.

	I must also note that you get fed like a king or in my case a queen and if you worked every day for several weeks one would get very fat. That is a problem I could do without so I was quite happy to only be on call as a special extra and continue with my other part time work as a bookkeeper.
	On the TV scene I covered most series of the time except for "Neighbours" but I am proud to say that I had my fifteen minutes of glory on our other icon "Blue Heelers"


	The coldest and hardest series were "Man from Snowy River" and the epic "Noah" but as they say the show must go on.

	My greatest blunders included insulting the leading actors without my intending to or not recognising them when perhaps I should have.

	Australian films, in particular, have come a long way over the past few years and we do have the obvious talent out there to prove it.

	My memories are many but I am still happy to be a bookkeeper who is currently enjoying creating my own web pages and adding them to my web site.

	Below is a short skit - warts and all -I submitted to one of Melbourne's most popular TV night shows - many others were submitted but as I recall a letter from the TV station stated they were too blue - The Benny Hill Show was very popular at the same time and it only goes to show how prude TV was (here in Melbourne Australia) back in the nineteen seventies.

THE COMMUTERS

1st Commuter:

How's your brother in law - still a lazy no good bum?

2nd Commuter:

Lazy!! he's so lazy he wouldn't even open the door of opportunity if it knocked.

1st C -

Yeah I know the type expects it to be opened with an electronic eye.

2nd C -

Talking of electronics have you seen the new girl in the modeling dept?

1st C -

You mean the blonde one?

2nd C -

Yeah Susie - boy a bikini on her is like a computer it eliminates a great deal of guesswork.

1st C -

Yeah - I hear Smithy's thinking of getting married.

2nd C -

Never - he wouldn't marry a girl on $75.00 a week.

1st C -

Didn't you hear he's found one who's earning twice that much.

2nd C -

Yeah what she like?

1st C -

Well I hear she believes in reincarnation - she claims she's only 35 but keeps remembering things that happened 45 years ago.

2nd C -

Well he always was the sort of man who would propose to a girl under a light he wouldn't even pick out a suit by.

1st C -

Yeah I guess he'll find out soon enough that marriage is like taking a bath - once you get into it and get used to it you find it's not so hot.

2nd C -

Well I hope he doesn't end up like my no good bum brother in law. Whenever he runs short of money he has to phone his wife's secretary to get her to ask his wife if he can have an advance on his next months allowance.

1st C -

Still married to that foreign speaking girl is he?

2nd C -

Yeah like he says when money talks nobody minds its accent.

1st C -

Yeah I heard he's got a sense of humor

2nd C -

A sense of humor huh!! He'd laugh at something that happened to you which would make him sore if it happened to him.

1st C -

Yeah like the time he went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled and he fought so much under the gas he ended up in hospital bandaged from head to toe and you had to go and tell him the dentist pulled out the wrong one.

Train pulls in and the two commuters emerge off

1st C -

I sure like these early morning trips to work on the train their so peaceful.

2nd C -

Yeah you don't have to listen to women gossiping and all that -